A.B. just took a roundtrip tour compliments of the Disney bus system...we better not miss our dinner reservations tonight or I promise you

we WILL be dining at the sold-out rest. I've been trying to get into to tomorrow night!

Thanks to KC for a status message from the Wonderful World of Cultmice. I should’ve thought of doing a search for this sooner. Let me make something abundantly clear, Hedonism has nothing against Disney World, Disneyland, Mickey Mouse, or any of its affiliates. In fact, I’ve been to D.W. a few times in my life and found it most enjoyable. Of course, I was ten, fifteen and nineteen during those times. I was not on a honeymoon. I was not part of a childless couple, nor was I on a Christian Singles Adventure. I was a kid. Kids belong at Disney World. Overweight women with locks dyed to match Cinderella who are trying to rescue their inner child from rape – they do not belong at Disney World. I feel sorry for these girl-women. They follow Paula Deen and savor the simplicity of making Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies. They titter at The Cable Guy, and clandestinely have The Lion King loaded on their iPods. They use strawberry body wash with matching shampoo, and wear period panties all year ‘round. They work the front desk in dental offices and threaten reservation agents when they’re on vacation. You know the type.
Narcissistic Rating: 4

Drea is in a freaking PISSY mood. Please no phone calls unless it is an emergency.

You’ll be happy to know that I have quite a few status messages from Drea here, all of them this delightful. Drea seems to believe she is Joan Crawford. I mean, what are you imagining? I see this chick in a lawn chair with scarf around her head and huge red sunglasses. “Hold all my calls,” she says to one of her fifteen servants, “Mommy isn’t feeling well.” Yes, she refers to herself as Mommy even though she has no children.

Car should be back in my hands by 5:00 - thank god - it's only been 6 F******** weeks since I've had it!
Well, that’s good to know.

Drea is still missing my Daddy.
Daddy? Do you mean, actual Daddy or Old Man-Daddy? Do women your age still call their fathers Daddy outside of the bedroom?

I HATE NC and want to get away from here.
Well, apparently you now have a car. How hard is it to just leave? Besides, I’m sure Daddy will bankroll your departure.

Drea is cleaning my apartment.... Still NOT happy.
Drea, take a page from Kelliyogimudra’s Bible (which she herself wrote). Relax….tea (strychnine). Neck-massage (noose). Aromatherapy (gas + match).

Drea is about to flip out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drea, you are obviously in no condition to be Tweeting.

I have found my happy place and life is great! I couldn't ask for anything more ;)!
Drea? Drea? Lithium is not just something you store in your pineapple-shaped limoges pill box for a rainy day. The highs are high, but the lows, oh Drea, the lows. You’re affecting everyone around you. Think of us, the members of the www community who must helplessly watch you suffer. Someone put Drea out of her misery. Anyone?

Jason Reed rarely gets upset anymore except when the Ritz Carlton jacks up your Porsche then denies it ever happened. We never landed on the moon eith

Jason, friend, buddy, pal, Hedonism is going to have to have some sympathy here. Not for the Porsche, those things can be fixed. But Jason, your ego, your fragile, delicate self-concept. It’s in the dumps, isn’t it? You’re feeling…inadequate? It’s okay, Jason. Many men have been in your position. It’s not a big deal. Besides, I’m sure when it’s erect it’s normal size. Oh, you’re having trouble with that too? Then it seems that the whole Porsche thing is a metaphor for something much bigger, or should I say, smaller in your life. Was it a girl who jacked you up in this manner? It’s always the bitches, isn’t it, Jason. Not that you were upset by her performance. You rarely get upset anymore. Of course, she could’ve tried for a little longer. Thirty minutes isn’t nearly enough. If I may, offer a Dr. Hedonism diagnosis, your “Porsche” may be in need of some professional tinkering. Ever since we landed on the moon, there have been great advancements in such mechanical remedies. Bit of lube, some flushing of the fluids, and a little Viagra should do the trick.

Don’t be embarrassed, Jason. It happens to everyone.
Narcissism Rating (what do you think?): 10

RDW is thinkin about chicken salad and pre marrital sex. please dont kill me jason!

Hmmmm. I wonder how that conversation went down in this guy’s head.

“Gotta do the dishes before Amy comes over. Should read some scripture. I wonder if we have any Ziplocs in the house. Jason needs to do the frickin’ dishes. Why did Judas do that? I hate it when they show sex on Animal Planet. Who cares about chickens doing it. I could sure use some chicken salad right now. T-Mobile sucks, but Catherine Zeta Jones is so hot. I could ram her from behind, my cock slamming her wet, dripping pussy. God will send me to hell if I touch myself, but oh, that Catherine Zeta Jones. Chicken. Chicken. Jason. Chicken. Oh Catherine touch me there, there THERE!”

Yeah, kid. Go bang your wife-to-be. You deserve it.

Narcissistic Rating: 0
Making Hedonism Feel Sorry For You Rating: 8