Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Mary Ann Stewart Ryan is so sad, her friend Melissa died last night due to a complication related to her gastric bypass surgery :-(.

I had a friend of a friend of a friend who died from this as well. But you wouldn’t know this because I NEVER PUT IT ON MY FUCKING STATUS. Mary Ann Stewart Ryan (what’s with the four names?) I hereby pronounce you Shitty Friend of the Week. Here’s why: gastric bypass surgery is a highly personal decision. You and I both know that you would not have posted the following: Mary Ann Stewart Ryan is so excited, her friend Melissa is having gastric bypass surgery! But, MASR, you’re taking full advantage of Melissa’s death, to MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU. Now everyone is expected to give you condolences and sympathy. Poor MASR. Hell, you might even get some flowers out of the deal.

I sincerely hope Melissa’s ghost comes back fifty pounds skinnier and haunts your narcissistic ass for the rest of your living days.
Narcissistic Rating: 10 Shitty Friend of the Week Rating: 10

3 comments:

Bad Spotted Dog said...

That has to be the worst/tackiest status update ever.

DR.P said...

First of all why the fuck does anybody need 4 names?
Second What is with the sad face at the end? Am I to assume I am just so stupid that your friend dying or the fact that you said "is so sad" is not enough for me to predict your current mood, you add a sad face? Only teenage twats having the flu or missing a fallout boy concert put sad faces. Not friends who lost someone near and dead!

Seriously write a poem, make a picture, write a song or a short story, a fucking diary entry or blog. But don't just put up a status message and a sad face. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

I like to call these "cry for help" status updates.